Young parents of today would have a heart attack if they saw the games kids played back in the 70s and 80s. They were fun and provided hours of entertainment but they could easily result in death and our parents never even batted an eye.
It was a different time back then when warning signs weren’t stuck to everything. I remember when Mr. Yuk was introduced and parents started putting stickers on bleach, glass cleaner, dish detergent, and every other poisonous substance a kid might be enticed to drink. Before that, it was okay if we drank it. Labels were our only way of knowing.
Thankfully, parents got wise in the 21st century. They had games yanked off the shelves. Schools stopped letting us kill each other in gym class or on the playground. It became a whole new world and the kids were safer. They had their video games and some completely forgot to go back outside.
Red Rover And The Line Of Death
It was an innocent game invented by a nice person who thought it would be fun if one person ran at the line of people on the other end of the field. If they break through, they win. If they get caught, they didn’t. And therein lies the rub.
The need to break through lit a fire in the runner that would motivate them to go full speed at the other kids. The need to catch them was just as motivating to kids standing in a line. The line got harder and the running faster until it was like full-on NFL football. A clothesline here and a horse-collar tackle there and kids ended up in the hospital in traction. Schools have banned the game after gallons of tears were cried into buckets and used to clean the blood off the walls.
But, our parents in our generation actually organized the games in our backyards. If you got hurt, walk it off. Pop that shoulder back into place. If you were choked, hold your hands above your head and breathe. We were fine.
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Dodgeball Was Sweet Revenge
We had dodgeball in gym class sometimes and we could always have it on the playground. So if we needed to get back at our classmates for something, dodgeball was when. A blast to the face was so satisfying. But if we were really going for it, hit them in the legs and trip the rascal who stole our pencil.
It appears this is another game the schools have banned. I don’t get it though. It was a rubber ball. That didn’t hurt, not that much anyway. It wasn’t like the toys we played with at home.
Lawn Darts Were Serious Stuff
When they said “Javelin Darts,” that’s what they meant. These things were solid and weighed enough to go right through someone’s head. There was a point at the end to make it happen too.
We would swing them back and forth and let them fly. If kids weren’t paying attention at the other end, that was their fault. It was a good heads-up game that got us ready for a lot of things like throwing grenades and hiding bodies. Somewhere along the line, the Toy Police decided for parents that we couldn’t be trusted with Lawn Darts anymore and banned them for everyone.
Chemistry Sets Were Death Ready To Happen
Chernobyl exploded in 1986 and we were still selling chemistry sets in America. It didn’t faze us that there were real chemicals in the set that should never be mixed. We had science teachers doing demonstrations all day and we learned everything we needed to know about chemistry.
What could possibly go wrong? There were only chemicals that could cause a fire. Others could pollute the oxygen in the room. Then, there were chemicals that could melt metal. It was awesome. Nothing a parent needed to worry about when their ten-year-old was up in their room playing.
Automic Energy Lab
Complete with Uranium 238, Sheldon Cooper would have loved this game. We’re not talking about a small explosion in the room anymore. This time, we’re talking about something that could make a child’s hair fall out. Death would come shortly after.
Of course, Atomic Energy can also cause an explosion. But it would probably take the whole block out. The cute little explosion a chemistry set would make in a kid’s room has nothing on a nuclear weapon your little Sheldon could cook up.
