I slid down the ramp to my yard. From now on, it was the only way to go. When I flopped on the grass, I looked up to see the pirates casting off the lines and shoving off already. At least, they had gotten me home.
“Bon voyage,” I yelled from the yard as I waved.
“We’ll be seeing you soon, we hope,” Teye Ba yelled as the ship turned and headed back down the river.
“Who are you talking to?” Chris said from behind me.
I turned around, and there he was, not much older than he had been before, “Hi, daddy!”
He looked at me with a smile and a strange glitter in his eye as he studied the river, and then stared back at me, “What do you have there?”
I looked down and shrugged, “It’s a blanket Maggie gave me, and this is KeeKee.”
“Ah, that’s where you’ve been,” he said as if he had just solved a puzzle. He looked at the book in my hand as he continued, “This explains why you’ve been gone for a few days.”
A few days? I didn’t know it was that long.
“Yeah, I just went home to grab a few things,” I said.
“You were having one of those days?” he asked.
I knew he knew. I didn’t have to tell him. We were so much alike. He knew my heartbeat. He knew my ups and downs just like he had his own.
“Yeah, but it helped,” I answered.
“I can see that,” he said.
“How?” I had to ask.
We walked to the porch together as he explained, “Sometimes, when we’re going through tough times like we don’t know who we are, we’re feeling totally lost in a world that feels like it left us behind, we go home.”
He went into the house and brought us both out a cup of coffee. Then, we sat on the porch together for a quiet moment that just felt right. That’s when I knew I could say all the things I had been dying to say, just let all the words out and stop holding onto them.
“I was raised by strangers,” I started. “They had no idea who I was, and I had no idea who I was. They were great, though. They didn’t have to step up and act like my parents. But they did.”
I looked at Dad, and he just took a sip of coffee. In a world full of people trying to talk over each other, to be the first to say something, to snap at people when they don’t agree, Dad sat patiently. I knew with him I could take my time, and he would listen. I also knew I could say anything and he wouldn’t argue with me over it.
“Now, I find out who I really am,” I started again. “It’s confusing. I went from one reality to another, only to find out that my life with them wasn’t real. With you was my real life. With them, it was all made up. Even my name.”
That’s when Dad giggled into his coffee just before he was about to take a drink. What was so funny?
“Honey, you gave yourself that name,” he said.
“I did?”
“Yes, you did,” he answered. “You couldn’t pronounce your name. For some reason, putting Krista together was too hard for you at the time. So, you just kept saying Kissy.”
“Okay, I remember you telling me that’s why Kissy is on the locket,” I said.
“That’s exactly why,” he answered.
“So, the girl I made up in my head,” I said, remembering Mikayla. “She only knows me as Mikayla.”
“You made up a girl in your head?” he asked.
I looked at him and realized that this was the part of the story he didn’t know about. “It’s silly, right? I made up a life with a girl from a children’s book just to give myself someone to play with.”
He looked at me and smiled. I didn’t know which way it was going to go. Was he going to start laughing and joking with me about it? I was so relieved when he didn’t do that.
“Kissy, I made up a girl too,” he said.
“You did?” I asked. But then, I remembered I had met her. “Wait! You called her, Angel.”
“That’s the one,” he nodded with a smile.
“You painted her,” I said as if reminding myself. “And she looked just like me.”
He nodded, “It was like my soul knew you existed, that you were out there somewhere. Even if my mind couldn’t remember who you actually were, my spirit was searching.”
“Wow,” I said. I had heard this story before. But this time, it was coming from a different place, and I was feeling it.
“Yeah, we did all kinds of things,” he said. “I imagined the yard being a race track, and you raced on your bike. You always won. Then, the yard out here was a huge amusement park like I brought a fair into town.”
I was speechless. We had never talked about this. But he wasn’t finished yet, “And I remember playing hide and seek with you.”
“What?” I asked, completely astonished.
He laughed as he looked at me, “I came up with the goofiest things. This one time, you hid under a blanket. I could see you. You were sitting up even, hiding under this blanket. Then, this other time, you were hiding behind the curtain in the living room. It was the cutest little thing. Can you imagine, a little girl with her feet sticking out under the curtain? And not only that, but the window was behind you. I couldn’t help but see you. But you were hiding.”
“Are you kidding me?” I asked.
“I know,” he said. “I have an active imagination. What can I say?”
“No, Dad,” I said. “Have you been reading my journal? Do I keep a journal?” At this point, I wasn’t sure.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I imagined all of those things too,” I answered.
“You did?” he said as if this conversation had just taken a weird turn. We just went from cozy to crazy in no time flat.
“Yes, I did,” I nodded with a hard look in my eyes. “The race track, the amusement park, hide and seek, all of it.”
“Well, that’s interesting,” he said in a long, drawn-out way.
“Yes, it is,” I replied. In a moment of silence, we sat.
It was easy to do, especially with him. Quiet never got awkward to me. Dad wasn’t that way either. He could sit in peace for hours and never feel the need to fill the silence with noise.
After talking to him, I did feel better. We hit a weird bump, but everything else made me feel like I was no longer lost. I had found what I needed to find. Besides, Dad is a veteran of weird. He doesn’t freak out over things like that. In fact, just the opposite. He relishes it.
But I did have one more thing on my mind, “Do you ever think about all the time we lost together?”
“I do,” he answered without hesitation.
“It doesn’t bother you?” I asked.
He nodded as he looked around the yard and stopped on the river running not that far from the house, “It would if I dwelled on it. But that’s not what matters now. We’re together, and that’s all I care about.”
His words sat right. I let that moment have its own heartbeat. But he wasn’t finished yet.
“And guess what?” he whispered.
“What?” I whispered back.
“We’ve been together all along,” his words dropped heavy on my soul.
I told you it wouldn’t freak him out. In fact, he relished it a little more than I thought he would. I let out a laugh as I wiped a tear from my eye.
“Our imaginations kept us together,” he whispered again as he stood up and walked back in the house.
In my room, I folded the blanket and placed it in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I propped KeeKee up against the mirror and I put the book right beside her. As I looked at the cover of the book, I thought about Mikayla.
I should visit her more. She shouldn’t have to stay there all alone. After all, it’s mine too.
Down the river, past the sounds of pirates singing. Keep going until you get to the field where you can see the imprint from the horse’s hooves. When you see the barn, you’ll find a huge rock sticking out of the dirt. You’ll know which one it is. It’s the biggest one.
From there, walk thirty-four steps to where there is a slight opening in the woods. You’ll see a path that will take you back to a leaning tree with a knot in it that looks like Peppa Pig.
“Don’t worry, Kissy,” Mikayla said as she tapped the ground below her. She leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes, “I’ll take good care of it.”
