The Infamous Beard and Mustache Competition

CompetitionThere’s a National Beard and Mustache Championship! …a National Beard and Mustache Championship!

Earlier this week, I heard about the Bathroom Contest. The Air Guitar Competition has always hit a particularly funny chord with me. The World Burping Championship is such a gas. And now, people are competing about growing hair on their face.

I am desperately trying to come up with a punchline. But sadly for every joke I try to tell, a competition actually exists.

Seriously, you can get 10K for farting. Someone holds the trophy for Midget Throwing, otherwise known as Dwarf Tossing. Extreme Ironing is not a joke. Worm Charming is a very real thing.

I thought I finally found one when “Spitting” suddenly hit me. But no, they have that in either Watermelon Seed, Cheery Pit or Tobacco.

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Michael Allen is the author of the newly released novel The Deeper Dark - When Haven Kayd returns home after being a POW for years, he returns to a world that has moved on without him. As he's playing catchup, the truth comes out about a scheme he was unknowingly the poster boy for and he learns about a hidden world that threatens everything he cares about. Available now at Amazon!

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The Islander

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The short story of a challenging young man coming up on a secret island that protected itself from the end of the world.

The Islander: The Law That Could Not Be Broken
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The Deeper Dark

the deeper darkMichael Allen’s latest novel…

The Deeper Dark is the story of a fighter pilot who spends a few years in a POW camp. When he returns to civilization, he realizes how much has changed as life just seemed to move on without him. His wife remarried and his daughter learned how to grow up without her father around. When he finds out there’s more to the story the day his jet went down, he finds himself in the middle of unimaginable corruption. Trying to keep their secrets hidden, his invisible enemies threaten the one person he has left in this world. But they have no idea how far he’s willing to go to save her life.

Available in print and on Kindle: The Deeper Dark