Commentary,  Funny,  WTF

In These Corona Times: USNS Mercy Assassination Attempt

Since the coronavirus inception, the news has gotten wackier and wackier. Hoarding toilet paper was the first to surprise us all because there was no evidence that we were going to be able to save the world that way. But that’s old news now.

Since then, we’ve seen people lick toilet seats. Kids were setting themselves on fire in a new online challenge. Then, the lockdown came as if we weren’t already crazy enough. I never thought I’d see the day when a person would get a ticket for being around other people, but the coronavirus turned 2020 into an absolute shit show.

One of the surprising stories out of a plethora of them was when a train engineer got suspicious of the USNS Mercy coming into port in Los Angeles to help aid in the fight against the coronavirus. The engineer thought that there was some ulterior motive for them being there like a government takeover or some other nefarious purpose.

So, Eduardo Moreno decided that he was going to try to drive his train into the ship. The USNS Mercy is currently docked in a nook on Smith Island and there are some railways going through there. I just don’t see how this genius thought he was going to make it to the ship to do any damage.

First of all, trains aren’t known to drive across land unless they’re on rails. They were designed for rails. In fact, the rail wheels and the train tracks were perfectly made for each other. Taking the train off rail is strongly not advised. In fact, I don’t even think they mention that in engineer school because they don’t think anyone would be stupid enough to try it. But here comes Eduardo.

I had to put some really good thinking together. This was some serious two and two work over here and I’m not sure I got it right yet. But here it goes:

First, I had to find out where exactly the ship was docked. I looked on marinetraffic.com and found it on Smith Island.

coronavirus usns mercy

That white block is where it was at the time the train derailed.

The next thing I needed to do was find the train tracks. So, I looked in openrailwaymap.org and found the active rails on Smith Island.

coronavirus usns mercy

I think that the Vincent Thomas Bridge is where the train is photographed when it came to a complete halt.

Here is a picture of it underneath the bridge:

coronavirus usns mercy

And here is a top view of the same location:

coronavirus usns mercy

So, I think I’m pretty close when I say this is where the engineer tried to go off tracks in an attempt to make a run for the ship:

coronavirus usns mercy

And here is the satellite version:

coronavirus usns mercy

I gave you all of those images to say that I have no idea what this guy was thinking. How did he expect to get the train to the ship? (That ship in the satellite picture above is where the USNS Mercy is right now by the way. However, it is not the USNS Mercy. This is a satellite image taken at another time of the same place and that appears to be a Cruise Ship with a pool and everything. NOT the USNS Mercy!)

Anyway, back to the train of thought, pun intended, it looks impossible. But Eduardo thought he was going to do it and his intentions were to wake up the American people. He seriously thinks there’s some conspiracy type story here.

Eduardo, it’s a Naval hospital ship that has come to help save people’s lives. Leave the ship alone!

He had quite a way to go to even do some damage. This was the worst thought out plan in history. I don’t think any other plan ever made was this stupid. And we’re all dumber for having witnessed it.

“It would have had to have gone several hundred yards through a parking lot and cross a water channel to reach the ship,” Phillip Sanfield, spokesman for the Port of Los Angeles said. “The tracks are nowhere near the Mercy.”

My thoughts exactly…

What Do You Think?

Michael Allen is the author of the newly released novel The Deeper Dark - When Haven Kayd returns home after being a POW for years, he returns to a world that has moved on without him. As he's playing catchup, the truth comes out about a scheme he was unknowingly the poster boy for and he learns about a hidden world that threatens everything he cares about. Available now at Amazon!