Ever Wondered What You’re Swimming In When You Enter The Ocean?

When you’re in the ocean, there is one thing to remember. It’s the home of sea creatures of all kinds. That means, it’s their bedroom, their bathroom, their hospital, and their restaurant. That’s where the creatures of the sea do everything from have sex to relieve themselves.

That’s what you’re swimming in when you put on that SCUBA gear. Even when you’re on the beach and swimming in the shallow edges of the ocean, the water is full of things you probably never realized until now. Like, look what happened to a bunch of SCUBA divers one day when they were out enjoying whale sightings:

whale crap

Well, isn’t that a load of shit. However, that merely scratches the surface. Just think of anything you would do in the privacy of your own home and you’re starting to get the idea why the ocean just might not be the greatest place to visit on vacation.

In fact, take a look at this short video. You’ll see something simply come out and I’ll give you one guess as to what it is. Imagine swimming around and getting this stuff on your face.





Do you know that there are sea creatures who masturbate? This list includes different animals, but it does show you what is floating around in that ocean you’re swimming in.

If you’re having a bad day, just remember that there is a guy who masturbates Orcas for a living…






Sex education at the aquarium…

And this is what happens months later. The beautiful creation of life after creatures of the sea hookup. Well, they don’t have birth control. So, what they do when they do IT is for good.

Now, have fun planning your next vacation. If you come to the beach, at least you know what you’re getting yourself into now.



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Michael Allen is the author of the newly released novel The Deeper Dark - When Haven Kayd returns home after being a POW for years, he finds he was unknowingly used as a tool in a human trafficking scheme that is now threatening the life of his daughter. Available now at Amazon!

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The Deeper Dark

the deeper darkMichael Allen’s latest novel…

The Deeper Dark is the story of a fighter pilot who spends a few years in a POW camp. When he returns to civilization, he realizes how much has changed as life just seemed to move on without him. His wife remarried and his daughter learned how to grow up without her father around. When he finds out there’s more to the story the day his jet went down, he finds himself in the middle of unimaginable corruption. Trying to keep their secrets hidden, his invisible enemies threaten the one person he has left in this world. But they have no idea how far he’s willing to go to save her life.

Available in print and on Kindle: The Deeper Dark