Ever Wondered What You’re Swimming In When You Enter The Ocean?

When you’re in the ocean, there is one thing to remember. It’s the home of sea creatures of all kinds. That means, it’s their bedroom, their bathroom, their hospital, and their restaurant. That’s where the creatures of the sea do everything from have sex to relieve themselves.

That’s what you’re swimming in when you put on that SCUBA gear. Even when you’re on the beach and swimming in the shallow edges of the ocean, the water is full of things you probably never realized until now. Like, look what happened to a bunch of SCUBA divers one day when they were out enjoying whale sightings:

whale crap

Well, isn’t that a load of shit. However, that merely scratches the surface. Just think of anything you would do in the privacy of your own home and you’re starting to get the idea why the ocean just might not be the greatest place to visit on vacation.

In fact, take a look at this short video. You’ll see something simply come out and I’ll give you one guess as to what it is. Imagine swimming around and getting this stuff on your face.





Do you know that there are sea creatures who masturbate? This list includes different animals, but it does show you what is floating around in that ocean you’re swimming in.

If you’re having a bad day, just remember that there is a guy who masturbates Orcas for a living…






Sex education at the aquarium…

And this is what happens months later. The beautiful creation of life after creatures of the sea hookup. Well, they don’t have birth control. So, what they do when they do IT is for good.

Now, have fun planning your next vacation. If you come to the beach, at least you know what you’re getting yourself into now.



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Michael Allen is the author of A River in the Ocean, the heartwarming story of a single father who is separated from his daughter when an awful accident nearly takes his life. He comes out of his coma with amnesia, but something keeps pulling him to find what's missing in his life. He didn't know he was looking and she didn't know she needed found. Available now at Amazon!

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A River in the Ocean

Michael Allen A River in the Ocean
Michael Allen’s latest novel…

A River in The Ocean is the story of a father and a daughter who get separated by a tragic accident. The father wakes up from a coma unaware he has a daughter while she has been raised for years by an odd couple who have great intentions, but no idea what they are doing. He begins to feel something is missing in his life while she begins to feel she is out of place. He didn’t know he was looking and she didn’t know she needed found.

Available in print and on Kindle: A River in the Ocean