How I Survived The Coronavirus

coronavirusA sense of humor is required to enjoy this story of a man who finds out about the coronavirus while in a very compromising situation. Follow him as he navigates the world of misinformation and mistaken assumptions.

Excerpt:

Getting up and going through my daily routine, that’s when I realized that this was going to be a rough day. It started off in the worst possible way when I saw that I didn’t have any toilet paper. In the morning during my daily routine is not the time I need to be learning that I don’t have toilet paper. Back to Target!

An early morning trip back to Target was not what I was looking forward to that day, but I made the best of it. I grabbed some coffee along the way and walked into Target ready to grab and go, but there was nothing to grab. It was the oddest thing I had ever seen. I went to the aisle to find toilet paper and the shelves were absolutely bare. Not a role to spare.

It was an eerie feeling. It was like I had stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone. I have never in my life seen a store out of toilet paper. I scratched my head, but it didn’t do any good. There still wasn’t any toilet paper on the shelves.

I looked around and found a person in a red shirt with a nametag, “Hey, excuse me.”

She looked my way, “Sure. How can I help you?”

“Are you guys moving everything around?”

She hardened her eyebrows slightly and shook her head, “No. Uh, no we’re not.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am. I would know if we were making big moves like that today. Why do you ask?”

“Well, the toilet paper aisle is completely empty. The shelves look weird that way. Are you aware there’s no toilet paper out here?”

“Actually, I am. It is weird. It’s really weird what’s happening. You should have been here yesterday.”

“I was here yesterday. I forgot to get some while I was here.”

“How could you forget to get toilet paper?”

“I don’t know. People forget to get toilet paper.”

“Not these people. They didn’t forget a square.”

“So, all the toilet paper then. Is there a trend or some kind of weird, some kind of strange, okay what is it?”

She cocked her head and studied me for a moment, “You have no idea what’s going on do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“The coronavirus.”

“The corona what?”

“It’s a new disease that’s spreading,” and with that, she led me to the tech department where all the TVs were on the news, “Here. This is why there isn’t any toilet paper.”

As I watched the news in the middle of Target, I learned that the coronavirus was the cause of a lot of deaths throughout the world and there were many more cases. But what I couldn’t believe was that there were confirmed deaths in the U.S. and the virus was spreading across the country. How in the world does that happen? Don’t we have protection? Why didn’t we use protection?

As I stood there listening to one news story after another, I looked around the store and everything became so surreal to me. I saw someone cough into their fist and it was as if I could see a spray of wiggling germs spreading like a cloud through the air. A mom was wiping her son’s face with a napkin and the way it looked to me, she was just spreading the germs around his face for him.

What was going on? I looked back at the TV and thought, “The coronavirus? A beer was doing all this?”

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