Have Fashion Designers Lost Their Minds Or What’s Up?

Is it just me or is the fashion industry pranking all of us? Do people who watch these shows sit there with a straight face the whole time or do they ever break and laugh at some of the ensembles the models are wearing on the catwalk?

The one thing I am not trying to do is offend the industry as a whole. I do think that there is some valuable work going on and I see it every day. I see it at the award shows when celebrities are looking their best and I see it on the talk shows when the celebrities walk in looking like they just came out of a high-scale dressing room.

But can people just admit with me that there are times when fashion designers have lost their complete minds? They send these models out on the catwalk in the most ridiculous outfits and I’m not sure if they’re trying to make some kind of social awareness statement or if they are initiating new models and making them the laughing stock for the whole world to see.

 

Exhibit A

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What is this? Those shoes look like something Mickey Mouse would wear. His socks don’t match. And the accessory is a basketball that goes with the outfit? It’s like the designer walked around the room looking for inspiration from anywhere, anywhere at all.

 

Exhibit B

fashionWhere do I start? Who would wear this? Isn’t fashion supposed to be about clothes people would buy and wear in public or am I missing something? No one would be able to go anywhere in this. How would they sit down at a restaurant? How would they be able to get food in their mouths? This is a Bubble Suit with a see-through Captain’s Hat and shoes that look like the ones I bought my daughter when she was young to match her princess costume.

Then There’s This

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That is a whole other person on the model’s back. Is this happening? Are people walking around in New York or Paris with other people on their backs? I have to tell you, I feel for the person who has to be upsidedown all night at the club. I wonder what happens when the blood rushing to the brain causes them to pass out from lack of oxygen.

 

And Now For Something Completely Different

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No. This is very different. This time the victim is upsidedown in the front. See? Totally not the same. This is what I’m talking about. Is the designer serious about this or did they hit their head and no one checked on them to see if they were concussed?

 

And Then There’s This

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I don’t think Tom Brady would want anything to do with this. For one, those shoes will never work on the field. I have to go back to the one question, when would someone wear this in public? What is going on in fashion if that’s not what it’s about? Maybe that’s the part I’m missing. Are they designing fashion that is never meant to be worn and if so, why?

 

Now What Exactly Is This

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Is this a Potato Head bit? Do you just grab the ears and mouth from a Potato Head toy or are these special ordered? And those eyebrows, did they grow those or are they Fox Moth Caterpillars?

 

This Might Actually Be Up My Alley

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I would rock this! I don’t care how stupid it looks. I would be able to sleep anywhere. If they tell me to be seated in the waiting room, that’s a good time to take a nap. When I’m standing in line at an amusement park, I could take a quick nap. That nap could last an hour at some amusement parks.

 

But Then, There’s This

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I’m not complaining one bit about this. Not at all. I’m just saying, why? Is it a statement? If it is, what statement are they making? Healthcare costs so much, she can’t afford pants?

 

What? I Mean, What?

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Is it cold or is it warm? We have a warm fuzzy hat to keep the heat in the head, and then we have bare legs that end with socks in sandals. Aren’t socks in sandals a fashion No-No? That’s what people have told me when I’ve done it from time to time. And I don’t know of anyone who would wear their granny panties out to the store, which is implied by the pocketbook that they might be going shopping.

 

And By That, I Mean What?

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I have no idea what this is! At all! It looks like a sex suit, to be honest. How do they talk with their mouth held open like that? It doesn’t matter. This is a sex slave outfit. The see-through pants are only partial downstairs wear because it seems to be just a series of straps that would be hard to get in and out of, making them more like chastity pants. Follow me for more ideas!

 

And What’s Going On Here?

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This model is a walking wall with only a partial suit. What? There wasn’t enough in the budget for pants? Now, how does a person who bought this outfit at JC Penny’s get around when they’re out on a date? They would bump into everyone and everything. They don’t even have their arms free to pay for stuff!

That brings up another very good question. When fashion designers reveal their new creations to the world, where do they put them on sale? Where is the fashion catalog where I can buy a wall to wear to my next hootenanny? And about the outfit with the other person on the front, does the person come with it or do I have to get my own?

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Michael Allen is the author of the newly released novel The Deeper Dark - When Haven Kayd returns home after being a POW for years, he finds he was unknowingly used as a tool in a human trafficking scheme that is now threatening the life of his daughter. Available now at Amazon!

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The Deeper Dark

the deeper darkMichael Allen’s latest novel…

The Deeper Dark is the story of a fighter pilot who spends a few years in a POW camp. When he returns to civilization, he realizes how much has changed as life just seemed to move on without him. His wife remarried and his daughter learned how to grow up without her father around. When he finds out there’s more to the story the day his jet went down, he finds himself in the middle of unimaginable corruption. Trying to keep their secrets hidden, his invisible enemies threaten the one person he has left in this world. But they have no idea how far he’s willing to go to save her life.

Available in print and on Kindle: The Deeper Dark