Disney World

Our parents would take us to the movies or sit us down in front of the television for that special night when the Disney movie was playing. Little did they know what we were being taught. Into our subliminal were the most powerful messages that overrode anything else we learned at school or from our parents.

If they took the time to pay attention to what these movies were teaching us, they wouldn’t be so confused anymore about the way we turned out!

 

Beauty and the Beast

Be a jerk all you want. You’ll still get the girl. Ugly doesn’t matter. She’ll fall in love with you because of how badly you treat her. Oh by the way, lock her in a dungeon. She’ll love that!

 

Aladdin

Be fake! Lie about who you are and get all your friends to do it with you. When she finds out about the truth, have her dad kidnapped. Then, save him. Works every time.

 

101 Dalmatians

Have all the kids you want!  It’s easy to sell your music and make millions of dollars.

 

Alice in Wonderland

Drink it if it says “Drink Me.” Eat it if it says “Eat Me.” Believe everything. Question nothing. When you get into trouble, gamble with your life to get back out of it.

 

Cinderella

Step mothers are mean!  Don’t have one. And Prince Charming won’t remember your name or even what you look like.

 

Peter Pan

Do the pixie dust!  It will make you fly.

 

No wonder we’re so screwed up. It was Disney’s strategy all along to get us addicted for life. Now, we’re taking our kids to his theme parks and buying up all his movies so that our kids can learn the same things. Good luck with that!  We need Disney Anonymous.

 

And now, a word from our sponsor!  Seriously, do the pixie dust…

The NOVEL that sold a thousand cases of Jack!